Puddy's World

what do you do?

2005-10-09T04:39:00.000-07:00

what do you do when helplessness strikes, and you can't stop worrying about things?

what do you do when you feel like your life has suddenly lost control?

what do you do when you want to run around and protect everything from coming to harm?

what do you do when fear of failure prevents you from performing?

what do you do when you feel useless?

pray pray pray.......
God always helps me out...

i got tagged too!!

2005-10-09T04:30:00.000-07:00

5 years ago: i was just starting college (Indus) and wondering if i'd ever get through it sane...

1 year ago: i had absolutely NO idea i would be so passionate about teaching college students, learning how to edit and wanting to do my masters (really badly)...

5 songs i know all the words to: if i let you go (westlife), that thing you do, hai apna dil tu awara (hemant kumar), i love the way you love me (ronan keating), i knew i loved you before i met you (savage garden) and lots of old indian songs thanks to my dad...

5 snacks i enjoy: salt and vinegar pringles, nutella, peanuts/cashew nuts, cocomo biscuits/toffee and pecan biscuits and the spicy nimco sticks we got from India...

5 things I'd do with a million dollars: buy mom and dad a cottage on myown island resort, send khaula off to university abroad, establish a studio with sara and farzad which does crazy design, take a world criuse, buy farzad all the photography equipment he's ever dreamed of and of course like my sister, get my hands on all the books i have ever loved and wanted (she can share them too!!!)...

5 places i would run away to: my mom's room, switzerland, mumbai, namale islands, paris

5 things i would never wear: skinny jeans, skorts (skirts with shorts), mary janes, leopard printed clothes, loud eyeshadow

5 favourite TV shows: dharma and greg, that 70's show, mind your language, fawlty towers, home improvement - i know all of them are quite ancient :)

5 greatest joys: rain, falling asleep in my mama's lap with maoo near my feet, irritating my dad and sisters, editing for days at a stretch, driving around with farzad

5 favourite toys: my movie camera, the spinning top that my cousin ali gave me, snoopy, my cat maoo, my hot ken doll (which my cousin fatima always had an eye on), my cricket bat and ball (kay would remember this)

the spirit of those

2005-09-03T08:49:00.000-07:00

no matter how much you think you don't want to involve yourself in "just another" mela, a few enthusiastic first year students running all over college can change your mind in an instant...

maoo

2005-09-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

[m.j 04]

view from the top

2005-09-01T06:25:00.000-07:00

[m.j 04]

my happily ever after

2005-08-29T09:34:00.000-07:00

girls in tears

2005-08-29T09:31:00.000-07:00

this was one of my "girly-moment" buys, and i have never regretted it.

its one of those crazy feel good books that i can take comfort in because they're just so simple and uncomplicated.

i get lost in it and my world becomes flowery and pink.....once more....

huppy budday kholz

2005-08-29T05:40:00.000-07:00

i'm sorry i'm such a bad sister...

i'm sorry i couldn't find a decent gift...

i'm sorry i yelled at you at 12:00 instead of wishing you...

i'm sorry i made you dance right before they entered the room...

i'm sorry i forgot to make a movie of it all...

i'm sorry i did a 'mujra' for you...

i'm sorry i used cheap rose patterned wrapping paper...

i'm sorry i sat on your cake... :)

happy birthday...i love you...
forgive me?

2005-08-27T07:54:00.000-07:00

[m.j diary 2005 march page]

khaily doset daram

2005-08-27T07:37:00.000-07:00

[m.j illustration farzad 05]

2005-08-26T10:07:00.000-07:00

[m.j illustrations moi 05]

2005-08-26T09:51:00.000-07:00

[fb works 05]

illustrate me...

2005-08-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

I WILL...

I WILL...

I WILL...

I WILL...

sunsets in karachi

2005-08-26T09:29:00.000-07:00

[m.j.sunset 2005]

pressure to perform....

2005-08-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

how many of us really do perform under pressure?
do we say it or we actually the kind who thrive on the migraines and tension that deadlines and the pressure to perform bring?

we pass life in an blur constantly trying to please others who demand of our performance whe in essence it is ultimately us who need to be pleased......

i say kick pressure in its lousy butt.....
give in to a week of chocolate hazelnut joy and lazy afternoon naps, wander about like a lost puppy with nothing to do......it makes you feel grand :)

sitting at my grandmothers today i realized the comfort of falling asleep on my mom's shoulder, the musky cigarette smell lingering in the air, the warmth of the small living room, and the cricket match blaring in my ears

it was heaven.....

2005-08-17T10:13:00.000-07:00

[m.j '03]

warhol inspired print

2005-08-17T10:06:00.000-07:00

[
[m.j '03]

excerpt from [the dance]

2005-05-19T11:45:00.000-07:00

junk it...

2005-05-16T05:19:00.000-07:00

[m.j.junk it]

happy birthday phisky...

2005-05-16T05:00:00.000-07:00

TO THE ONE I LOVE TO HATE....
with all my love only for today...

HAPPY BiRTHDAY PHISKY...
i love you...

light in his eyes?

2005-05-15T06:53:00.000-07:00

[farzad.hyderabad.pic]

happy birthday vinod....

2005-05-15T06:47:00.000-07:00

TO THE ELEPHANT LOVER...ON HIS BIG DAY!!!

flying fish

2005-05-15T06:46:00.000-07:00

[mj.creativity.jolt]

2005-05-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

[mj.diary.2005.october page]

2005-05-14T08:07:00.000-07:00

[mj.diary 2005, jan page]

"yeah whatever" wed. 23 july, 1999, 23:41:53 + 0500

2005-05-14T06:06:00.000-07:00

ok...i thought about what you said to me today, and you know what? i don't think i'm like that at all and there is nothing wrong with the way i behave. SERIOUSLY.

[of course there isn't....you wish!!!!]

i really don't care what anyone says coz i know i've been careful. and guys are like that.
it's not the first time someone spread these rumours.

[please grow up "and guys are like that" very childish remark]

people learn from experience you know, so why would i do anything that would give others a chance to bitch?
[you don't seem to have]

don't i sound intellectual?

[no you don't]

why should i change? people will talk all they want so let them...if my friends are fine with the way i am why should i bother?

[i don't know.....aaaaghhhh...i am not!!!!]

i'm not going to change

[don't. see if i care!!!]

anyways, so how are you and hows your work coming along?
i printed out all the originalities today :)

wish me luck for the scanning ;)
by the way what exactly did mohsin say and what did you tell him?

[why are you so bothered? what did you think i told him?]

see ya,
maria

[Q]

karachi rain...

2005-05-14T06:05:00.000-07:00

[mj.fb.rainy days]

[16:9]

2005-05-14T05:48:00.000-07:00

[mj.fb panoramic views]

getting over it?

2005-05-13T01:46:00.000-07:00

i wonder why sometimes when you're the one who's trying to move on the most, it's all the people around you who do it faster than you could.

yesterday during one of our very long crits in basic design class, the students were thrown a random question.

"when did you first realize that you were a human being?"

when my grand mother died.
when i knew God existed.
when i lost everything.
when i went to the zoo (hmm...that's a rather deep one no?)

these were some of the answers that sprang up and it made me get to thinking when i discovered it for myself.

you know that you're alive and breathing.
you know you have a heart.

for me it was when my heart was broken.
and not the kind of broken that happens in a day.
this one took a total of a year and a half. a long, slow death.

it's funny how sometimes you can forgive almost anything that happens to you, but when you expect that of others they hold grudges and term you the evil one. life is unfair like that.

but if you come out of it stronger and with even more faith than before, it's like a re-birth.
and i'm happier knowing i've tried.

the loss is not mine!

because i am just a human being...

2005-05-12T08:59:00.000-07:00

[ozzy chronicles]

history class with Ozzy.Q...

2005-05-12T08:15:00.000-07:00

[ozzy.q history days]

rainy nights in karachi...

2005-05-12T07:31:00.000-07:00

[mj.fb rainy nights]

monday mornings...

2005-05-11T06:02:00.000-07:00

2005-05-11T05:24:00.001-07:00

most mondays i'm a grouch.
i really try hard not to be.
you see as a teacher you have to one of those constantly positive and motivating forces, and that can really sap all your energy.

monday mornings are bleary and forgettable.

like cold eggs.
like bad songs.
like dry bread.
like re-runs.
like this post.

no exit yet?

2005-05-09T06:53:00.000-07:00

my brochure [m.j]

2005-05-09T06:44:00.000-07:00

2005-05-09T06:30:00.000-07:00

i told you one day i would <'find/: myself..

sit back

2005-05-09T06:15:00.000-07:00

sometimes sitting back and letting a day go all wrong really helps...
hey it's not that i want my life to end up like a big huge mess, i just want to see how bad things could go....

it's at times like these i feel really creative.
like a big slap.
it hits you.....

i can't remember when it was that i really wanted to break away from "neat design"
look i'm a messy person and messy design is my forte....i need to really discover myself in the process of each design....and i don't call that being rigid....
i think it makes me very flexible....

you can brainstorm all you want, but until you feel a desire in you, it's not going to happen...
my disconnected ramblings won't make any sense...

but they have given me ten tangents to work on already...

this page cannot be displayed

2005-04-02T23:39:00.000-08:00

that's the way my head feels right now

that's the way i feel nowadays

i feel uncreative and boring

this page cannot be found

somehow i've gotten lost

i need to find myself......again

the wicked witch

2005-02-14T04:01:00.000-08:00

She waved her wand at me.
I knew one day that she would.
I didn’t get glass slippers.
I didn’t even get a pumpkin.
All I got were cramps.

To the biggest kook i know.

2005-02-04T10:10:00.000-08:00

to thee i dedicate this blog,
for the world, methinks,
is ready for your nuttiness.
love you,
Ta.